Fable Review
A Journalistic Review by DefiantParrot
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Originally Written: 08/15/2019
Developer: Lionhead Studios, Big Blue Box Studios
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Platform: Xbox
Genre: Action RPG
Release: September 14, 2004
Ahh Peter Molyneux the laughing stock of the video game industry, well, one of the laughing stocks anyway.
The Fable series is one of his major accolades, the first game which was originally planned for the Sega Dreamcast believe it or not, was one of those orignal Xbox games that I always wanted to play.
But growing up I didn't have the Xbox, I was happy enough with my Gamecube and absolutely loved my PS2 so I just went without playing this game until many years later. Well today I am going to revisit it, since I remember really enjoying it, much more than the later games anyway.
So let's address two elephants in the room right away, I am looking at vanilla Fable here, the original game and original release on the Xbox. It's expansion, The Lost Chapters, will get its day in the sun at a later time.
And secondly, Peter Molyneux is a liar and if I start delving into all the promised features that weren't included in this game I'll be typing here all fucking day and my feathers need preening people!
So originally under the name Project Ego (Insert Molyneux joke here) Fable was supposed to be different than other RPG and it certainly accomplishes that.
The story here is you begin the game as a young lad living in the village of Oakvale in the country of Albion. It's your sisters birthday and you haven't gotten her anything yet you asshole, so your father promises you some gold pieces if you can do some good deeds, of course you could always acquire your gold by being a dick if you want to.
Choices play a big part in Fable, you can be a hero loved by all and cheered when you walk by, or an evil prick who the folks are terrified of. As a wise man once said, the choices are yours and yours alone.
Whichever way you choose to do it, after buying your sister a present bandits attack your village and seemingly murder everybody, you are saved at the last second by Maze from the Heroes Guild.
The Heroes Guild is where young children are raised and trained to battle the dangers of Albion and protect (or fuck up) the lives of the people of Albion and is your new home after the worst birthday ever.
After the prologue you are sent out into the world to accept quests, unravel the mysteries of your bloodline, and make a name for yourself as a Hero to be heralded or hated.
I like the story here and several of the characters, from learning why your village was attacked and seeing the villain Jack of Blades, who I fucking forgot how pathetic his voice was here.
I'm jumping way ahead here but everytime this Jack of Dicks spoke I started laughing.
Anyway back on topic, your training will teach you about the three disciplines of being a hero. Strength, will and skill.
Strength is obvious it's melee combat and you can upgrade it to wield heavier weapons, increase damage and health that sort of thing.
Will is magic plain and simple, you can level it up as well increasing overall mana and the various spells you can use which there's plenty of.
Skill is your ranged combat, either a longbow or crossbow and leveling it up can also increase your speed and accuracy.
Sometimes I think this game tries to be different and it can be a detriment. For example like many other games killing enemies gains you experience points but unlike other games you have to actively collect these.
Enemies drop green orbs and you either have to manually collect them, or hold down the right trigger to draw them in. I've never liked this mechanic and I just found it annoying, it's being different just for the sake of being different. Not because it adds any sort of fun to the game.
Speaking of controls they can get a tad annoying. Melee and ranged combat are each mapped to the X button with the black and white buttons cycling between weapons.
Just gotta say now, I hate the black and white buttons and I often forget which button does which thing, I may just be an imbecile however.
Also I mentioned there's alot of magic in this game and there is, but cycling between each spell when it is mapped to the B button can be a pain in the ass.
This was clearly meant to be played on PC and can be hectic as hell in the middle of a fight, so what I ended up doing was picking three spells I liked and only using those for the majority of the game.
Oh and this is minor but I hate the stealth in this game, you activate stealth walking by holding down the left analog stick and moving yourself around. It's awkward trying to walk and hold the stick in at the same time, and that's how you steal if you wish to play the game that way.
Now you don't have to be a thief admittedly, but there are a few moments during the main questline where the game forces stealth upon you, and this game was just not made for that.
For the time the game looks... dated as hell. Look I'm not saying it looks god awful all the time, in fact in motion it's pretty good. But the minute you take a second to really inspect anything it just looks ugly, I'm sorry I can hear many fans grinding their pitchforks at me.
I had several moments of texture pop in, or NPCs glitching through an object, and slowdown when too much was going on on-screen. Nothing game breaking, I didn't have a single crash but this game might as well be held together by rubber bands and chewing gum.
Oh and as for audio, oh the voice acting here. Mmmm the cheesy and god awful voice acting. This games voice acting is the stuff of legend I swear to fucking god.
I already mentioned Jack of jack offs earlier, but the NPCs in this game are just gloriously terrible right up there with Resident Evil and Castlevania.
The music is pretty good though, the main score was composed by Danny Elfman and the rest of the music was done Russel Shaw. They got a full orchestra here, and it sounds quite lovely.
I don't find myself humming it when I'm not playing it if that means anything, but in game the music is a win.
If there's something I remember the Fable series for is its humor. The bad voice acting might be a part of that, but being able to use Expressions to fart in public, or kick around chickens got a laugh out of me from time to time. I love a game that can make me chuckle.
Now one major complaint I have is that there isn't much in the way of quest tracking here.
There is a map and you can warp to certain areas, but once you've selected a quest it can be a pain in the ass on where to go. Main quests are gold on your map whereas the others are silver, differentiating between each silver quest can suck, and I had to constantly pause the game and check the map to make sure I knew where I was going.
Of course when you're not questing you can spend some time in towns, getting drunk, playing some card games. You could even use some of those Expressions to woo somebody if you wish and even get married.
There's a little cutscene that plays and everything, make sure you own a house of course and you and your spouse can move right on in and fuck as much as you want but you'll never have kids. Okay I'll only complain about that feature being left out.
All in all Fable is a dated game with many unfulfilled promises but is still playable to this day. It's rough around the edges sure but the game is rewarding to play, can make you laugh and there's even some replayability in there if you wish to have a good playthrough and an evil one.
Fable receives my Bronze Seal of Acceptance
My next revisit to the world of Albion will definitely be with The Lost Chapters. If you liked what you saw here please give the series a shot, the remaster on 360 is well liked, and I hear rumblings that maybe. just maybe this series isn't as dead as we think.
Oh and crunch doesn't work Molyneux you fucking dolt
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Originally Written: 08/15/2019
 |
| What a tale we have here |
Developer: Lionhead Studios, Big Blue Box Studios
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Platform: Xbox
Genre: Action RPG
Release: September 14, 2004
Ahh Peter Molyneux the laughing stock of the video game industry, well, one of the laughing stocks anyway.
The Fable series is one of his major accolades, the first game which was originally planned for the Sega Dreamcast believe it or not, was one of those orignal Xbox games that I always wanted to play.
But growing up I didn't have the Xbox, I was happy enough with my Gamecube and absolutely loved my PS2 so I just went without playing this game until many years later. Well today I am going to revisit it, since I remember really enjoying it, much more than the later games anyway.
So let's address two elephants in the room right away, I am looking at vanilla Fable here, the original game and original release on the Xbox. It's expansion, The Lost Chapters, will get its day in the sun at a later time.
And secondly, Peter Molyneux is a liar and if I start delving into all the promised features that weren't included in this game I'll be typing here all fucking day and my feathers need preening people!
So originally under the name Project Ego (Insert Molyneux joke here) Fable was supposed to be different than other RPG and it certainly accomplishes that.
The story here is you begin the game as a young lad living in the village of Oakvale in the country of Albion. It's your sisters birthday and you haven't gotten her anything yet you asshole, so your father promises you some gold pieces if you can do some good deeds, of course you could always acquire your gold by being a dick if you want to.
 |
| He look such a nice bloke |
Whichever way you choose to do it, after buying your sister a present bandits attack your village and seemingly murder everybody, you are saved at the last second by Maze from the Heroes Guild.
 |
| Should've got her a face lift |
After the prologue you are sent out into the world to accept quests, unravel the mysteries of your bloodline, and make a name for yourself as a Hero to be heralded or hated.
I like the story here and several of the characters, from learning why your village was attacked and seeing the villain Jack of Blades, who I fucking forgot how pathetic his voice was here.
I'm jumping way ahead here but everytime this Jack of Dicks spoke I started laughing.
Anyway back on topic, your training will teach you about the three disciplines of being a hero. Strength, will and skill.
Strength is obvious it's melee combat and you can upgrade it to wield heavier weapons, increase damage and health that sort of thing.
Will is magic plain and simple, you can level it up as well increasing overall mana and the various spells you can use which there's plenty of.
Skill is your ranged combat, either a longbow or crossbow and leveling it up can also increase your speed and accuracy.
Sometimes I think this game tries to be different and it can be a detriment. For example like many other games killing enemies gains you experience points but unlike other games you have to actively collect these.
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/6576049/IainGravestone.0.png) |
| That's impressive |
Speaking of controls they can get a tad annoying. Melee and ranged combat are each mapped to the X button with the black and white buttons cycling between weapons.
Just gotta say now, I hate the black and white buttons and I often forget which button does which thing, I may just be an imbecile however.
Also I mentioned there's alot of magic in this game and there is, but cycling between each spell when it is mapped to the B button can be a pain in the ass.
This was clearly meant to be played on PC and can be hectic as hell in the middle of a fight, so what I ended up doing was picking three spells I liked and only using those for the majority of the game.
Oh and this is minor but I hate the stealth in this game, you activate stealth walking by holding down the left analog stick and moving yourself around. It's awkward trying to walk and hold the stick in at the same time, and that's how you steal if you wish to play the game that way.
Now you don't have to be a thief admittedly, but there are a few moments during the main questline where the game forces stealth upon you, and this game was just not made for that.
 |
| Emo Fuck |
I had several moments of texture pop in, or NPCs glitching through an object, and slowdown when too much was going on on-screen. Nothing game breaking, I didn't have a single crash but this game might as well be held together by rubber bands and chewing gum.
Oh and as for audio, oh the voice acting here. Mmmm the cheesy and god awful voice acting. This games voice acting is the stuff of legend I swear to fucking god.
I already mentioned Jack of jack offs earlier, but the NPCs in this game are just gloriously terrible right up there with Resident Evil and Castlevania.
The music is pretty good though, the main score was composed by Danny Elfman and the rest of the music was done Russel Shaw. They got a full orchestra here, and it sounds quite lovely.
I don't find myself humming it when I'm not playing it if that means anything, but in game the music is a win.
If there's something I remember the Fable series for is its humor. The bad voice acting might be a part of that, but being able to use Expressions to fart in public, or kick around chickens got a laugh out of me from time to time. I love a game that can make me chuckle.
Now one major complaint I have is that there isn't much in the way of quest tracking here.
There is a map and you can warp to certain areas, but once you've selected a quest it can be a pain in the ass on where to go. Main quests are gold on your map whereas the others are silver, differentiating between each silver quest can suck, and I had to constantly pause the game and check the map to make sure I knew where I was going.
 |
| Demon Doors hold secret items |
There's a little cutscene that plays and everything, make sure you own a house of course and you and your spouse can move right on in and fuck as much as you want but you'll never have kids. Okay I'll only complain about that feature being left out.
All in all Fable is a dated game with many unfulfilled promises but is still playable to this day. It's rough around the edges sure but the game is rewarding to play, can make you laugh and there's even some replayability in there if you wish to have a good playthrough and an evil one.
 |
| For when your lies almost pay off |
Fable receives my Bronze Seal of Acceptance
My next revisit to the world of Albion will definitely be with The Lost Chapters. If you liked what you saw here please give the series a shot, the remaster on 360 is well liked, and I hear rumblings that maybe. just maybe this series isn't as dead as we think.
Oh and crunch doesn't work Molyneux you fucking dolt
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