Overwatch Review

                              A Journalistic Review by DefiantParrot
                                             Originally Written: 03/08/2020
                              *Spoilers May Be Ahead* (??)

Cheers Love

Developer: Blizzard Entertainment
Publisher: Blizzard Entertainment
Platform: Xbox One
Genre: First-Person Shooter
Release: May 24, 2016


I gotta say FPS games aren't usually my cup of tea. Sure I did really enjoy BioShock but they just aren't my forte.

Especially competitive FPS' I've never been any good at them, and they just weren't something I enjoyed. So when all my friends started playing Blizzards highly anticipated FPS Overwatch, a few years ago I decided to sit it out.

I remember really liking what I saw, the game looked beautiful and I loved the character designs, these weren't boring generic soldiers, this cast of characters had a rainbow of colors and varying designs.

I sat the game out for a number of reasons though but, it's time to look and see what I've been missing and see how many of these characters I liked playing.

There were a few I gravitated towards, I started playing D.Va quite a bit early on. Since I'm not good at these types of games ordinarily she felt like a good starting point for me since you technically have to kill her twice. Gotta take out her mech and then kill her on foot and  I had a few good matches with her.

That mask is fucking ridiculous

Of course I noticed early on that Overwatch does something I really don't like, and that's shuffling through game modes every few days. A mode you play and really like one day can be gone during another and I understand that for seasonal things and updates.

But when it is something as standard as Team Deathmatch which is my favorite mode to play I find it aggravating.

Also it allows me to play as who I like whenever I want which is something Overwatch does that I do like, you can switch your character any time you die. Playing as the ninja Genji but feel he's dying too fast? Switch to the walking mech Bastion and mow motherfuckers down, I like it.

There's modes where you have to select what class you wanna be and you're locked into that for the match and I'm not fond of those, I prefer being able to switch my character between any class whenever I want. I don't like feeling limited which thankfully I don't have to most of the time.

I also like how after each match there's a play of the game highlight showing which player did the most spectacular kill, or had a horseshoe come out of their ass with how lucky they were.

I always feel like I 'Done A Good' whenever get a Play of the Game

I got my first one with Junkrat utilizing his spiked ball of death super. I got another with Tracer, the poster girl of the series as I dashed around rewinding time and blasting others with my pistols.

Each character has their own strengths and weaknesses which helps balance all of this out, no character is too overpowered or even underpowered.

But just like how there were characters I like, there's some I can't stand. Moira is the bane of my goddamn existence everytime I face her because her constant draining fucks my world up usually and against someone who knows how to maneuver as her she's a pain in my ass to hit.

Of course I welcome a Moira or any healer on my said for any match but seriously fuck fighting her.

KISS MY ASS YOU SLUT!

Sombra is another character I really love playing because her cloaking, hacking and teleporting are the perfect support and simultaneous trolling maneuvers for a match. But god do I hate when the game tells me the purple cunt has hacked me, IT'S ONLY COOL WHEN I DO IT!!!!

Roadhog is another I can't stand, this fat fuck can be a pain in the ass to kill sometimes. He can dish out the damage, can take a shitload of damage, can heal himself and that goddamn chain. Whenever I'm playing as Sombra and I see a Roadhog low on health I always hack that fucker and gun his ass down if I can get away with it, seriously fuck off you chunky fuck.

But my two favorite characters have got to be Sigma and Ashe.

Ashe with her super robot buddy Bob and her awesome rifle is so much fun to play. Throwing the clusters of dynamite at just the right time has lead to some awesome kills with her.

There's My Girl

And Sigma god you don't even have to aim with this big fuck, just angle your telekinetic ball things and bounce them off a wall and nail an enemy on the other side. Killing them with prejudice and style I got some of my best kills with Sigma.

The game looks great I should say by the way, I've mostly talked about the characters here but I also like the maps and what music there is.

Fuck This One Though

There are maps specifically for each mode and I love how they look.



In fact one complaint I have is how I love these characters and locales so much I wish there was a story mode here, or some form of single player.

I know, I know maybe I'm just whining here and I won't take points away from the game for this. But I yearn to learn more and experience more beyond just basic multiplayer matches with these characters.

Soldier: 76 is so cool and the dynamic between him and Reaper is awesome to see. The story with Widowmaker is tragic and I like but most of this is through supplementary material and not in game.

It's not the end of the world but it's something I would really love to see.

But let's address the great big box shaped elephant in the room. The Loot Boxes.

I think this game is pretty good at awarding you these boxes that give customization materials for your characters such as emotes or new skins.

Some of these skins I really like and are kinda cool admittedly, I have a few for Ashe and Ana that I really like and play with.

But.

And this is a very, very big but. I do not in any way support that these loot boxes or microtransactions or anything of the sort are in a game you have to pay for.

There are no words that can adequately express just how much I HATE these fucking things

It's not as evil or disgusting here as in something like what Warner Bros. did with Shadow of War or Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled but this what kickstarted the craze and I don't give Blizzard a pass here.

And no just because the awards are cosmetic is not an excuse.

Fuck Loot Boxes in priced video games, fuck them all to hell and fuck Activision while we're at it.

You could make the argument and it's a pretty flimsy argument in my opinion. That the Loot Boxes are warranted because since release Overwatch has gotten free updates including characters. The newest being a character named Echo that I've lately had alot of fun playing as, I wanna get better with her.

While I love free updates and new characters this does not make the Loot Boxes okay in my opinion, I've debated and argued Loot Boxes with people on several occasions some are people I wholeheartedly respect but my mind will not be changed on this. At the very least, the VERY least these practices should be taken into consideration by the consumer before they purchase the product.

Fuck Activision Again While We're At It!

This is a pretty short one folks but admittedly I don't think there's alot to say here. Overwatch is alot of fun and I'm glad to finally be playing it after all
these years.

For when Moira kills you for the fourth fucking time

Overwatch receives my Silver Seal of Recommendation

But I should add that it barely gets that because I think anyone with gambling issues should stay away from this Loot Box riddled mess.

But it is a really, really good game and while I will never give a game with Loot Boxes a Gold. Ever.

I can say that in spite of those disgusting monetary transactions, Overwatch is still a game I really enjoyed and I will definitely be playing it for years to come.