God of War (PS2) Review

  

Giving Atheism to a whole new meaning

      

A Journalistic Review by DefiantParrot

  *Warning: May Contain Spoilers

   Originally Written: 04/29/2020

Developer: SCE Santa Monica Studios

Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform: PlayStation 2

Genre: Action-Adventure

Release: March 22, 2005

    

    Y'know the sixth generation of gaming might be my favorite of all time. Seriously each console holds a special place in my heart and each one brought some great exclusives. As I've stated before the PS2 holds some of the games I grew up with and we've discussed a few of them. But those were not the only games I played on my beautiful DVD player.

Indeed when I wasn't channeling Eco or collecting an absurd array of weapons or sneaking and stealing with raccoons this was one of the games I was most likely playing. 

I remember getting this game when it first came out and this was my very first M rated game that I was allowed to play and own. I have fond memories of me and my cousin DiTtO trading the game and a memory card between us just to get through it and working together to finally beat the game.

This shit was eye catching back in the day and made this game stand out among the rest

But it has been some time since I last played this game. Does it still hold up? Well let's find out as I revisit God of War.

The story of God of War is that you play as Kratos the angriest Spartan this side of Leonidas. Having pledged his loyalty to the God of War Ares and being tricked into murdering his wife and daughter Kratos now seeks revenge. 

Worst. Father. Ever.

Ares is currently destroying the city of Athens, the rest of the Gods are forbidden from facing him, so instead the Gods send Kratos to recover the fabled Pandora's Box, with it he can finally slay the God of War.

A pretty simple story all things considered. Although I admit I was shocked when I was reminded how this game tries so hard to make you empathize with Kratos and paint him in a sympathetic light. 

I mean you can still murder innocent people for health but he shows remorse for things he's done and his quest is not purely one of revenge here. He's haunted and tormented day and night for what he didn't mean to do all those years ago. 

Oh shit my Ex-Wife is here!!! KILL IT!

I really connect with that, I've done things in my life I'm not proud of. Not murder of course. But I know what it's like to be haunted by your past actions and Kratos simply wishes to be free of that. 

The story is good and I do enjoy how it's played out, the interesting lore from Greek Mythology that this game definitely takes liberties with sure, is still fascinating. 

Meeting a few of the different Gods is pretty cool and the multitude of mythological monsters you mutilate is magnificently magical.

Hey Poseidon! How's Percy?

So let's now discuss the best thing about God of War, the combat. 

This is an action game folks and when I mentioned Kratos was angry I don't just mean its cutscenes. The brutal and powerful attacks you'll unleash can be jawdropping (especially if you're a fifteen year old bird!) 

I remember being completely enthralled with the gameplay here. Kratos' main weapons are the Blades of Chaos. Seared into his flesh by that tosspot Ares, Kratos can now attack foes from a distance using the chains on his arms to control the weapons and it feels good!

The combos you can unlock for them feel satisfying as Hades to use and it doesn't stop there. 

And this NEVER gets old!

There are grabs Kratos can use to kill enemies sometimes like ripping a bastard in half with your bare hands or tearing the wings off a Harpie that are so much damn fun to use. 

The magic Kratos can unlock later is also fun depending on what you use. Poseidon's Rage which you get early on is easily the best spell in my opinion. Whereas the others are only situational in my opinion. 

FEEL MY UNBRIDLED POWER!!!!!!!!

Medusa's Gaze I hardly ever use because there are so many enemies after you, that standing still to use it is never wise in my opinion.

Zeus' Fury is great for enemies out of reach but that's all I use it for. 

And the Army of Hades is fantastic for crowd control but eats up so much magic points that it's hardly worth it.

I do really like the Blade of Artemis though. this big fuck off blade is alot of fun to swing around and cut motherfuckers in half with.

Yeah Come to Daddy

Now back in my Ryse review I mentioned God of Wars Quick-Time Events. Sometime has passed since then and having replayed the game I'm on two minds about this. 

On one hand I like the way they are utilized against bosses because I feel those foes should be more difficult to defeat. Against the smaller foes it can be pretty annoying.

They work the same either way, after dealing enough damage you press the circle button to initiate the sequence, and utilizing the moment to throat fuck a minotaur to death with your blade to regain health is orgasmicly satisfying no doubt. 

Yeah this sucks

But then you have the Gorgons, using the Quick-Time Event on these bitches regains Magic for you to use but they involve rotating the anaolg stick and these can be pretty finicky. 

You know what else can be finicky? Trying to initiate a QTE against an enemy when you're surrounded because I swear to Dionysus' sweaty ballsack that there were numerous times I attempted to begin a QTE sequence but the game wouldn't read it and I'd get dogpiled by all the other enemies. 

I don't know if the game was reading different movements or what but it got fucking annoying, I almost got as pissed as Kratos at those moments.

Oh well, hey there buddy

Never had this problem facing bosses. Y'know all three of them. This game really needed more boss encounters because they are some of the best moments here.

All in all I do really like the combat but it does have its drawbacks. A major one is, as much as I love it, it is pretty limited. It's great for what it is, but the combat is about as shallow as Zeus' bird bath.

There's a good variety of foes you'll face. From Undead Legionnaries to Harpies, Minotaurs, Centaurs, My Ex-Wife (Gorgons) but they don't spice up the encounters enough to make you truly think about how you fight them. 

These guys can suck on my Spartan sack however

As you explore and open chests and defeat enemies you'll be collecting orbs. Green orbs restores health, blue restores magic and red orbs are experience points. By pausing the game you can spend these points to level up your weapons or magic. Be it making the Blades of Chaos do more damage and unlock more abilities with them, to powering up Poseidon's Rage or you could spend the points on Medusa's Gaze because your father never loved you.

Fucking love these things

This game can get pretty fucking challenging by the way. The combat may be shallow but it certainly isn't easy especially on the higher difficulties. I'm down for that, not every game needs to hold your hand. 

Take the Gorgons for example they can turn you into stone with their gaze so you must dodge around them to avoid that, but if you jump to avoid it and you're turned to stone in mid-air you'll shatter once you hit the ground.

I've heard people call that cheap but personally I find it to be one of the very few strategies you have to implement in this game. 

Don't fucking jump when there's Gorgons in the room, you have to think and I love that in a game. I just wish there was more of that here.

I fucking love this opening

Of course combat isn't all this game is about. There's also some basic platforming to mix up the gameplay. It's nothing special but can lead to some fun exploration and finding hidden chests is always welcome. 

And then there are the puzzles. I've made no secret that I am not a big fan of puzzles but I gotta admit the ones here are not bad. There really wasn't a puzzle I got stuck on or I got irritated with and some of these I legit did not remember how to complete. My favorite puzzle is probably the Grecian Tetris puzzle. 

God I hope people get that joke.

The puzzles are at their most prevalent at Pandora's Temple. This is where I'd say half the game takes place. It's pretty varied between outside and inside the temple and as I said the puzzles here weren't frustrating. 

This where a good chunk of the game takes place

What did irritate me was the amount of backtracking involved here especially in the lower areas of the temple. Spinning the rings around takes just long enough to be annoying and remembering where a room was can be a real flick in the fucking nuts when you just wanna progress and get the magical fucking jewelry box already!

The presentation here is fine. The soundtrack is great with the main God of War theme having been stuck in my head all day. The voice acting is serviceable with Terrence C. Carson doing a great job as Kratos. Whereas other people sound really, really bad. 

Looking at you Aphrodite, I mean it makes sense why you of all Gods would sound like Porn Acting but holy fuck.

PUT IN SOME EFFORT SLUT!!!!

The game does look dated as hell though. What was once jaw dropping is now simply charming to see in all it's PS2 dated glory. Maybe the numerous HD rereleases helps that out, more than likely. But if you're a stickler for visuals it may annoy you.

Once Ares is defeated there's still more to do. There's God Mode which will kick your fucking nuts in if you wish to try it. There's also the Challenge of the Gods which is ten difficult challenges that you can complete if you're a sadist. 

Though the costumes they unlock are fucking incredible. Dairy Bastard is best bastard Hastag that shit!

Dairy Bastard is my spirit animal

I didn't feel the need to complete those modes for this playthrough but maybe later when I revisit this game in the HD collection.

All in all I had a blast playing God of War again. The game is dated and rough around the edges in several spots but it is still a really fun game with a decent story and a memorable 'protaganist.'

God of War receives my Silver Seal of Recommendation

For when you want a divorce.... the hard way

The sequels later fine tune all the annoyances here and I cannot wait to get to them. But for now I must take my leave of you, Ghost of Sparta. Please don't kill me.