Super Meat Boy
A Journalistic Review by DefiantParrot
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| Who couldn't love this face? |
*Spoilers May Be Ahead*
Developer: Team Meat
Publisher: Team Meat
Platform: Xbox Live Arcade
Genre: Platformer
Release: October 20, 2010
Well here's one that has been in my backlog for a while now. So the history of this game dates back to 2008 I believe. On Newgrounds there was a game called Meat Boy the game was simple, you control a sack of meat through a level, avoiding obstacles and rescuing his girlfriend at the end of the level.
Microsoft caught wind of this and requested a sequel be developed for their services and that is how Super Meat Boy came to be. This game has been sitting on my Xbox 360 for several years now, I wanna say I bought and downloaded the game somewhere between 4 or 5 years ago. I'd always been curious but today I decide to mark this game off my list.
So let's get some obvious points out of the way this game, like its predecessor is very simple. You once again guide Meat Boy through the levels to rescue his girlfriend Bandage Girl.
The music here is also really fucking good. Danny Baranowsky shows off what he can do here and it is sublime. I'm not familiar with his other work but I do look forward to hearing it when I eventually get to some of the other games he's down work for.
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| Ah yes, the sixth circle of hell |
And this game is not at all easy. It is a throwback to the hardcore and brutal days of gaming. Honestly I'm sort of sick of seeing those myself but this was years ago when that craze was sort of kicking into high gear so I'll let it pass.
The plot here is as simple as the gameplay. The reason you have to rescue Bandage Girl is because she's been kidnapped by a dickhead named Dr. Fetus. There's alot of jokes I could make here but I'm going to let them all go and move swiftly on.
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| Worst family photo ever |
These are where Super Meat Boy shows off its humor and charm. It's nothing gut busting or extremely endearing in my opinion but it is nice to see and if you were a fan of Newgrounds back in the day you'll probably love it.
The game is a pure platformer you move Meat Boy with the analog stick or D-Pad and jump with the A button. You can hold the button down longer for a higher jump and you can run faster by holding the L button. Or you can use the X button to run faster but if you do that, you're a monster.
Wall jumping will be one of Meat Boys greatest ways of avoiding obstacles and you have to avoid them because Meat Boy dies in one hit, he is a sack of Meat after all what'd you expect?
The game starts out relatively easy enough but soon enough you'll be surrounded by bottomless pits, spikes, buzz saws, lasers, my ex-wife and other horrfying things that'll completely fuck up our meaty pal here.
Now of course to counterbalance these things the game does not give you lives. You can die and replay a level as many times as you want and the levels are short so getting back to where you died doesn't take long.
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| This game is a masochists wet dream, I'm telling you |
And can I just say thank god because otherwise I'd be ALOT more harsh with this meaty fuck.
This game is hard, it is challenging, it is not for the faint of heart and you need patience as much as skill to complete this game.
Skill I've got plenty of, patience on the other hand well not so much.
So full disclosure here, I did not finish this game and I don't mean I didn't hundred percent it. No I mean world 6-5 is where I stopped playing, not because I was furious or anything I just decided to stop playing. I know I was so close but I spent an entire day on level 6-5 and I decided to move on.
The number of things that will eventually be thrown out you is staggering almost as staggering as the number of levels this game has. If you just play each individual level start to end then this game won't take you very long.
However Super Meat Boy has many, many more things to complete than the regular levels. For instance if you complete a level under a certain amount of time you can receive an A+ rank. For every level you get an A in you can unlock the Dark version of the level. Which is the same level but harder and more challenging you can also A+ these for the record.
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| Is this Meat Boy or Fucking Saw?! |
In several levels there are bandages you can collect which you must grab and then complete the level without dying, these are here so you can unlock other characters which have their own unique abilites and can make certain levels easier.
These characters usually hail from other Indie games or Newgrounds games and it's nice seeing them just like it was in Dust.
In certain levels you may also notice these black hole looking things. These are warp zones and reaching them before they disappear can take you to another challenging level to complete or to a hidden characters level where you must complete their challenges to unlock them.
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| WARP ZOOOONE!!!!!! |
I enjoyed getting Commander Video because he saved my ass a number of times and completely gave up on unlocking The Kid from I Wanna Be the Guy because his levels were designed by some fuckwit who has a real massive hard on for spikes.
There are also special glitch levels that can appear every once in a while. These weird looking monstrosities bring as much challenge as regular levels and are just another thing to complete if you wanna beat this game. But if you love what you've played more is always nice I suppose.
The number of levels to complete is mind blowing here and there is certainly enough content for what you pay for here. I didn't even mention Teh Internets which is another zone completely that is full of fan made levels apparently and can be utter fucking hell.
I will absolutely praise that there's plenty here to keep you busy, now I just wish I had that same amount of praise for much else.
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| The game also looks great, pretty in its simiplicity |
The controls here work fine, most of the time. Getting used to Meat Boys speed can throw you off at first but that didn't bother me all that much.
It's how slippery and loose he feels but it's like sparingly here, it's weird to explain. There are times where I make a jump perfectly and other times I slide off like an idiot when I swear I did nothing wrong or running of a ledge instead of jumping when I know for a fact I hit the jump button.
Yeah I know it sounds alot like the old excuse "I Hit JUMP!" everyone used to scream back in the day but I feel like it's not always my fault. I never felt in 100% control or entirely comfortable here.
That's the problem with emulating games from back in the day there were alot of bullshit moments or just bad programming we're supposed to have gotten past by now, wanting to be like the 80s and early 90s involves taking the bad as well as the good.
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| WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! |
Almost every chapter ends with a boss fight and these are easily my least favorite thing in this game. Their levels last longer and are more punishing if you die and some of these are completely random in their pattern and piss me the fuck off. The boss at the end of chapter 5 can BLOW ME!
So here's the thing with Super Meat Boy. I feel like anyone can pick this up and start playing it, but only the truly patient will ever finish it. Sure this may be your thing but if it isn't I don't see this game convincing you.
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| RUN!!! IT'S THE EX-WIFE!!!!!! |
I stopped playing this game because I didn't want to play it anymore, again I wasn't frustrated or angry at it and I have no doubt if I sat down and committed the time that I could beat this game hell even 100% it. But I don't have that time anymore, I'm nearing thirty and I have things to do.
One of my inspirations was TotalBiscuit a game reviewer we lost way too damn soon and he said something that stuck with me.
"I don't always have to see the end credits of a game to know if I like it or not."
That has always stuck with me and while I pride myself on finishing games before I review them I asked myself, is there anything in these last 22 levels that will change how I feel about this game?
No, no I don't think there is.
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| For when you're a sad sack of meat |
If these games are your cup of tea and you enjoy a challenge then by all means have at it and if you complete this game show me on Twitter I want pics folks.
As for everyone else if you're interested I say check it out the game earns its price tag but otherwise I say it's safe to skip the ballkicking.
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